What Professional Performing Taught Me About Confidence

People are often surprised when I tell them I've spent decades performing on stage.

I've sung in front of crowds of thousands.

I've walked onto stages with bright lights, loud music and hundreds—sometimes thousands—of eyes looking straight at me.

I've also performed in tiny, intimate house concerts where there was nowhere to hide.

And I absolutely loved it.

From the outside, people assumed I was fearless.

Confident.

Unshakable.

The funny thing is...

They were only half right.

Because somewhere along the way, I developed what I now think of as my stage self.

The moment I stepped into the spotlight, something shifted.

She was brave.

She was funny.

She could command a room.

She wasn't afraid of making mistakes because she knew how to keep going.

Then the show would finish.

I'd step off stage, take off the makeup, climb back into the car... and become Mum again.

The everyday version of me.

The one who still overthought things.

The one who sometimes questioned herself.

The one who could still feel nervous, uncertain or out of her depth.

For years, I thought confidence was something I somehow put on for the stage.

But looking back now, I realise that's not what was happening at all.

The confidence wasn't fake.

It was practised.

I'd rehearsed.

I'd prepared.

I'd experienced enough uncomfortable moments to know I could survive them.

I'd built trust in myself.

And that's the biggest lesson performing ever taught me.

Confidence isn't a personality trait. It's something you build.

It's built through preparation.

Through repetition.

Through experience.

Through doing the scary thing often enough that your brain starts believing, "I've got this."

When I returned to horses after years away, I expected that same confidence to still be there.

Instead, I found myself overthinking.

Questioning.

Feeling nervous about things that never used to bother me.

At first, I couldn't understand why.

Now I can.

I'd stopped practising that version of myself.

Just like performing, confidence around horses isn't something we're born with or something we magically lose forever.

It can be rebuilt.

One small step.

One good experience.

One quiet win at a time.

That's exactly why Her Ride Her Way exists.

Not to teach women to become fearless.

But to help them build genuine confidence—the kind that doesn't rely on pretending.

The kind that's grounded in preparation, practical skills and trust in yourself.

Because here's what I've learned after decades both on stage and around horses...

The bravest people aren't the ones who never feel fear.

They're the ones who keep showing up anyway.

And one day, almost without noticing, they realise they don't need an alter ego anymore.

They're simply becoming more themselves.